The concept of a "true self" and "false self" in individuals with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a subject of debate among psychologists and researchers. While some believe that narcissists create a false self to protect their fragile ego and present a socially acceptable image, others argue that the false self is an integral part of their personality.
Regardless of the terminology, it is true that individuals with narcissistic traits often present different personas or wear masks to manipulate their image and elicit admiration or control from others. They may adapt their behavior depending on the situation and the people involved, making it challenging to discern their authentic personality.
In relationships, a grandiose narcissist may initially present themselves as charming, charismatic, and attentive to their significant other. They may use love bombing techniques to win the partner's affection and admiration. However, over time, as the relationship progresses and their true nature starts to reveal itself, the grandiose narcissist may become controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive.
It is unlikely for a lifetime grandiose narcissist to fully reveal their vulnerable and authentic self to their significant other. The false self is intricately woven into their personality, and letting their true self interact with their partner would mean exposing their vulnerabilities, insecurities, and fears, which they are typically unwilling to do.
The grandiose narcissist's primary focus is on maintaining their sense of superiority and control. They may fear that revealing their authentic self would lead to rejection or a loss of power in the relationship. As a result, they are more likely to continue wearing different masks and manipulating the perception of their significant other to maintain their desired image and retain control over the relationship.
It's important for partners of individuals with narcissistic traits to be aware of the dynamics of such relationships and prioritize their own emotional well-being. Narcissistic relationships can be emotionally draining and harmful, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be helpful in navigating the challenges that may arise. In some cases, setting boundaries or considering leaving the relationship might be necessary for self-preservation.