Narcissists often seek and maintain relationships for various reasons that align with their personality traits and psychological needs:
Need for Validation: Narcissists have an excessive need for admiration and validation. Being in a relationship provides them with a constant source of attention and admiration, which boosts their fragile self-esteem.
Emotional Manipulation and Control: Relationships provide a platform for a narcissist to manipulate and control their partner. They may use emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and other tactics to maintain power and dominance over their partner.
Sense of Superiority: Being in a relationship with someone allows the narcissist to feel superior and special. They often seek out partners they believe will reflect positively on them and enhance their self-image.
Sources of Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists thrive on what is known as "narcissistic supply," which refers to the attention, admiration, and reactions they receive from others. Relationships are a rich source of this supply, and having a partner who constantly validates and caters to their needs fulfills this requirement.
Avoiding Loneliness: Some narcissists fear being alone or abandoned, and so they may continuously seek new relationships to avoid feelings of loneliness or vulnerability.
Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists often engage in a cycle of idealization and devaluation in their relationships. They may put their partner on a pedestal during the idealization phase, but when the partner fails to meet their unrealistic expectations, they devalue and demean them. This cycle can keep the partner emotionally invested and trying to regain the narcissist's approval.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often lack genuine empathy for others. Being in a relationship allows them to satisfy their own needs and desires without truly considering their partner's feelings or well-being.
It's important to recognize that not all individuals with narcissistic traits are the same, and their behavior can vary significantly from person to person. However, these common traits provide some insight into why a narcissist may seek and maintain relationships with others. For those dealing with a narcissistic partner or seeking to break free from such a relationship, seeking support from friends, family, or professional counseling can be essential for emotional healing and recovery.