When a narcissist moves on to a new partner and appears to be experiencing love and happiness, it can trigger a range of emotions in their previous or "old" supply. This emotional response is a complex mix of feelings, and several factors contribute to this jealousy and sadness:
Loss of Control: Narcissists often exercise control and manipulation over their partners. When the narcissist moves on and appears to be in love with someone else, the old supply may feel a loss of control over the situation. This can lead to feelings of jealousy and frustration.
Feeling Replaced and Devalued: Narcissists tend to idealize their partners during the early stages of a relationship (the love bombing phase). However, as time passes, they devalue and discard their partners, seeking new sources of validation and attention. The old supply may feel replaced and devalued, leading to feelings of sadness and a sense of worthlessness.
Comparisons and Self-Doubt: Witnessing the narcissist treat their new partner with apparent love and admiration can lead the old supply to compare themselves and feel inadequate. They might question what they did wrong or why they weren't "good enough" to keep the narcissist's attention, causing feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.
Emotional Investment: The old supply might have invested a considerable amount of time, energy, and emotions into the relationship with the narcissist. Seeing the narcissist move on easily can be hurtful and leave them feeling used and discarded.
Envy and Attention-Seeking: Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration from others. The old supply may feel envious of the new partner, as they are now receiving the attention that the old supply once received. This can lead the old supply to seek validation or attempt to regain the narcissist's attention, which can further fuel feelings of jealousy.
Cognitive Dissonance: The old supply may have conflicting emotions about the narcissist. On one hand, they may be aware of the toxic and manipulative behavior, yet on the other hand, they might still hold onto the positive memories from the initial idealization phase. This cognitive dissonance can contribute to feelings of sadness and confusion.
It's important to remember that narcissists often lack genuine empathy and concern for their partners' feelings. They may use their new relationship to bolster their self-esteem or manipulate their old supply further. Understanding that this behavior is a reflection of the narcissist's personality disorder rather than the old supply's worth is crucial for healing and moving forward. If someone is experiencing difficulties coping with these emotions, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be helpful in processing and overcoming these feelings.