Narcissists often engage in manipulative behaviors to maintain control, gain attention, or exploit others for their own benefit. Asking someone to come help them and then not being there is one such manipulative tactic, and it can serve several purposes:
Seeking attention: Narcissists crave constant admiration and validation. By asking for help, they can draw attention to themselves and feel important, even if they have no genuine need for assistance.
Testing loyalty: Narcissists may use this tactic to gauge how much influence they have over others. They want to see if someone will go out of their way to help them, even if it inconveniences the other person.
Power and control: Creating a situation where someone is willing to come to their aid but finding the narcissist absent gives them a sense of power and control over the other person. It reinforces their belief that they can manipulate and influence others.
Emotional manipulation: It is a way to emotionally manipulate the other person, making them feel concerned or worried about the narcissist's well-being, which can keep the victim emotionally attached to the narcissist.
Gaslighting: Narcissists may use this tactic to make the other person doubt their perceptions or sanity. They might deny having asked for help in the first place, making the person feel confused or question their memory.
It's essential to recognize such manipulative behaviors and set healthy boundaries with narcissists. They often exploit others' empathy and willingness to help, so being aware of their tactics can help protect yourself from emotional harm. If you find yourself dealing with a narcissistic individual regularly, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial to help cope with the challenges they pose.