A "narc" is a colloquial term for a narcissist, someone who has narcissistic personality traits or a narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists are known for their self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration and attention. When a narcissist refers to their ex as "just a friend," there could be several reasons behind this behavior:
Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and may use this tactic to keep their exes close and maintain a sense of control over them. By presenting their ex as just a friend, they can continue to exert influence, exploit their ex's emotions, and use them as a potential source of attention and validation.
Fear of abandonment: Narcissists fear being abandoned or rejected, as it damages their fragile self-esteem. Keeping their ex around as a friend can provide a sense of security, even if it is just an illusion, as they might believe that they have a backup option in case their current relationships falter.
Maintaining appearances: Narcissists often prioritize appearances and how they are perceived by others. By claiming their ex is "just a friend," they may try to uphold the image of being on good terms with all their past relationships, even if that isn't the case.
Ego boost: Having an ex still be involved in their life as a friend can serve as an ego boost for a narcissist. It reaffirms their belief that they are charming and likable enough to keep someone around even after the romantic relationship has ended.
Reasserting control: By insisting on maintaining a friendship with their ex, a narcissist can ensure they stay in the ex's life, making it easier for them to manipulate or emotionally exploit the ex as needed.
It's essential to recognize that a narcissist's behavior can be harmful and emotionally damaging to their ex-partner. If you or someone you know is dealing with a narcissistic ex, it's crucial to establish boundaries and seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to navigate the situation effectively.