A narcissist's view of their ex-partner can vary depending on the individual and the circumstances surrounding the breakup. However, some common patterns in how narcissists may view their exes include:
Devaluation: During the relationship, if the ex-partner was a source of admiration, validation, or attention, the narcissist may have idealized them. However, once the relationship ends, the narcissist is likely to devalue the ex, viewing them as less valuable or important. This devaluation may stem from the narcissist's need to protect their own ego and self-esteem.
Blame shifting: Narcissists often struggle to take responsibility for their actions or acknowledge their role in relationship issues. They may blame their ex-partner for the breakup entirely, portraying themselves as the victim or innocent party. This allows them to avoid any self-reflection or accountability.
Hoovering: In some cases, a narcissist may try to win back their ex-partner through manipulative tactics, a behavior known as "hoovering." This can happen even if the narcissist was the one who initiated the breakup. They might try to regain control, attention, or validation from the ex.
Competitiveness: If the ex-partner moves on and finds happiness or success after the breakup, the narcissist may become envious and competitive. They might feel threatened by the idea that their ex is doing better without them and may try to undermine the ex's accomplishments or new relationship.
Objectification: Narcissists often objectify people, viewing them as extensions of themselves rather than separate individuals with their own thoughts and feelings. After the breakup, the ex-partner may be reduced to a mere object or discarded as if they were no longer useful or valuable to the narcissist.
Revision of history: Narcissists may rewrite the history of the relationship to suit their narrative and self-image. They might downplay or deny any positive aspects of the relationship and exaggerate negative aspects, painting themselves in a more favorable light.
Indifference: In some cases, a narcissist may become completely indifferent to their ex-partner after the breakup, especially if the ex is no longer providing the attention or validation the narcissist seeks. They may move on to new sources of admiration and attention without a second thought.
It's important to remember that a narcissist's perception of their ex is influenced by their self-centered and often manipulative mindset. Their views may not reflect the reality of the relationship or the feelings of the ex-partner. Additionally, each narcissist is different, and individual behavior can vary widely.