I can offer some general insights into potential reasons for such behavior, keeping in mind that every situation is unique, and individual personalities can vary significantly.
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists often seek to manipulate and control others to boost their self-esteem and maintain a sense of power over them. Inviting you over and then pretending not to know you were coming may be a way for the narcissist to create confusion and uncertainty in the relationship, making you question yourself and feel off balance.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often lack empathy and disregard the feelings of others. To them, engaging in behavior that hurts or upsets you may not even register as a problem. They may prioritize their own desires and impulses without considering how their actions affect others.
Seeking Attention and Validation: Narcissists crave constant attention and validation from others. By engaging in such behavior, they may be seeking reactions from you or trying to provoke an emotional response to reinforce their sense of control.
Love of Drama: Narcissists may enjoy creating drama and chaos in their relationships. It gives them a sense of excitement and power, and they may feel a rush from seeing how others react to their actions.
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists often go through cycles of idealization and devaluation in their relationships. They may build you up and make you feel special during the idealization phase but later devalue and hurt you to maintain their sense of superiority and control.
Lack of Boundaries: Narcissists frequently struggle with maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships. They may have little regard for the impact their actions have on others and may engage in inappropriate behaviors without considering the consequences.
It's important to recognize and protect yourself from toxic relationships with narcissists. Such behavior can be emotionally damaging and harmful in the long run. If you find yourself repeatedly facing such situations, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional who can help you navigate these challenges and establish healthier relationship patterns.