Narcissists can vary in their levels of self-awareness and empathy, so their understanding of when they hurt their partner can vary as well. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Due to their excessive focus on themselves and their needs, narcissists may not fully recognize or acknowledge the pain they inflict on their partners.
In some cases, narcissists may be aware of their hurtful behavior but choose to ignore or downplay it, rationalizing their actions to protect their self-image and avoid feelings of guilt or responsibility. They might also use manipulation and gaslighting tactics to make their partners doubt their own feelings and perceptions, further complicating the situation.
On the other hand, some narcissists may lack insight into their harmful actions altogether, as their focus is primarily on maintaining their sense of superiority and entitlement. They may be incapable of empathizing with their partner's emotions or understanding how their behavior impacts others.
It's essential to note that not all individuals with narcissistic traits or behaviors have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and the severity of narcissistic traits can differ among individuals. Additionally, some individuals may display narcissistic behaviors but not necessarily meet the criteria for NPD.
Regardless of whether a narcissist understands the harm they cause, being in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and harmful to the partner. If you or someone you know is dealing with a challenging relationship with a narcissistic partner, seeking support from a mental health professional or a therapist experienced in dealing with personality disorders can be beneficial.