Question

Why does a narcissist act like they're mad at you when you are mad at them for something they have done that hurt you emotionally? Why do they turn it around to be about them?

Answer 1

Narcissists often display certain manipulative and defensive behaviors when faced with criticism or when someone expresses hurt or anger towards them. These behaviors can be challenging to understand and deal with. Here are some possible reasons why a narcissist may act this way:

1. Fragile self-esteem: Narcissists typically have a fragile sense of self-esteem that is easily threatened. When you express anger or hurt towards them, they may interpret it as a personal attack, which triggers their insecurities and fears of being inadequate or unworthy.

2. Lack of empathy: Narcissists have difficulty empathizing with others and understanding their emotions. They may be unable to put themselves in your shoes or see things from your perspective. Instead, they tend to focus on their own feelings and needs.

3. Defense mechanism: To protect their fragile self-image and avoid facing any perceived flaws, narcissists use defense mechanisms, such as denial, deflection, and blame-shifting. By acting like they are mad at you, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions and turn the focus away from their behavior.

4. Need for control: Narcissists often desire control and dominance in relationships. When you express negative emotions towards them, they may feel a loss of control and attempt to regain it by manipulating the situation and making it about themselves.

5. Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where the narcissist tries to distort your perception of reality. By acting like they are mad at you or making you question your feelings, they may try to make you doubt yourself and your emotions, making it easier for them to maintain control over the narrative.

6. Lack of remorse: Narcissists may have difficulty genuinely feeling remorse or taking responsibility for their hurtful actions. Instead of acknowledging the pain they've caused, they might deflect blame or minimize the impact of their behavior.

It's important to remember that dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and challenging. Setting healthy boundaries and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be helpful in navigating such relationships. If you find yourself in a toxic dynamic with a narcissistic individual, consider seeking professional guidance to help you cope and decide on the best course of action for your well-being.