Yes, it is possible for a narcissist to have "flying monkeys" who monitor you in a subtle manner to support the narcissist's agenda without being overtly detected as such. In the context of narcissistic behavior, "flying monkeys" are individuals who act as enablers or allies of the narcissist. They may not necessarily be narcissists themselves, but they are manipulated or influenced by the narcissist to do their bidding, often unknowingly.
Flying monkeys can take various forms, such as friends, family members, coworkers, or acquaintances who are drawn into the narcissist's drama or targeted to carry out specific tasks on their behalf. They may engage in gossip, spread rumors, undermine the target's credibility, or provide the narcissist with information about the target's actions and emotions.
Here are some ways a narcissist can utilize flying monkeys subtly:
Gathering Information: The narcissist may have individuals in their circle who casually extract information about the target's life, emotions, and activities without the target realizing it. This information can then be used against the target later.
Gaslighting and Manipulation: The narcissist may subtly influence their allies to gaslight or manipulate the target. Gaslighting is a tactic used to make someone doubt their perceptions, memory, or sanity. Flying monkeys might unknowingly contribute to this by repeating false information or downplaying the target's experiences.
Triangulation: The narcissist might use flying monkeys to create triangles in relationships, pitting one person against another. This manipulation can cause conflicts and confusion, making it easier for the narcissist to maintain control.
Smear Campaigns: Flying monkeys may be involved in spreading negative rumors or lies about the target, tarnishing their reputation without appearing directly connected to the narcissist.
Providing Narcissistic Supply: Flying monkeys can unknowingly provide the narcissist with validation and attention, reinforcing the narcissist's sense of importance and superiority.
It is essential to recognize that flying monkeys may not be aware of their role in the narcissist's manipulation, as the narcissist often skillfully plays people against each other and paints themselves as the victim or misunderstood person. Flying monkeys may genuinely believe they are acting in the best interest of the narcissist or may be under the influence of the narcissist's charm and manipulation.
If you suspect that you are dealing with a narcissistic individual and their flying monkeys, it's crucial to set boundaries and protect your emotional well-being. Surrounding yourself with supportive and empathetic individuals can be helpful in maintaining a healthier perspective on the situation. If the manipulation and toxicity become overwhelming, seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in coping with the effects of dealing with a narcissist and their allies.