Yes, a narcissist can indeed use "flying monkeys" to monitor and manipulate others in a subtle manner. In the context of narcissistic abuse, "flying monkeys" refer to individuals who the narcissist enlists to carry out their bidding, often without these individuals being fully aware of the narcissist's intentions or the harm they may be causing.
Flying monkeys can take on various roles, such as friends, family members, colleagues, or acquaintances, and they might be manipulated by the narcissist through tactics like:
Misinformation: The narcissist may provide selective or distorted information about you to the flying monkeys, painting a negative or false picture to turn them against you or monitor your actions.
Praise and Reward: Narcissists can use flattery, rewards, or attention to gain the loyalty and compliance of the flying monkeys, making them more willing to carry out the narcissist's wishes.
Fear and Obligation: The narcissist might use fear or guilt to manipulate the flying monkeys into monitoring your actions or reporting back to them. For instance, they may make the flying monkeys feel responsible for the narcissist's well-being or safety.
Isolation and Alienation: The narcissist may manipulate the flying monkeys into isolating or alienating you from other support networks or individuals who might see through the narcissist's manipulations.
Projection: Narcissists may project their negative traits or actions onto you, making the flying monkeys believe that you are the problem and encouraging them to monitor you more closely.
Empathy and Concern: The narcissist can pretend to be the victim or in need of help, appealing to the flying monkeys' empathy and concern. This tactic can further bind the flying monkeys to the narcissist's cause.
Flying monkeys may not be aware of the manipulation they are participating in, as the narcissist may present their actions as innocent or well-intentioned. However, it's essential to recognize that flying monkeys can perpetuate the harm caused by the narcissist and contribute to a toxic and emotionally abusive environment.
If you find yourself dealing with a situation involving flying monkeys, it's crucial to protect your well-being and set healthy boundaries. Seek support from individuals you trust and consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance on how to navigate and cope with such dynamics.