I can offer some general insights based on the information you've provided.
Narcissistic individuals tend to seek attention and control over others. "Hovering" behavior, even from out of town, may be an attempt to maintain their influence over you and keep you emotionally connected. It's possible that your narc is trying to maintain a presence in your life without committing to visiting you in person.
There could be several reasons for not mentioning a visit:
Maintaining Power: By keeping you guessing about a potential visit, they may feel a sense of control over your emotions and actions.
Fear of Rejection: If they sense that you might not welcome a visit or that you have established boundaries, they may be hesitant to bring up the topic.
Playing Mind Games: Narcissists often use manipulation and mind games to keep others off balance and confused. By not mentioning a visit, they might be trying to make you wonder and doubt yourself.
Limited Interest: They might not actually be interested in visiting you but still want to keep tabs on you from afar.
Other Priorities: They could be preoccupied with other things in their life and haven't considered or prioritized visiting you.
In any case, it's important to remember that maintaining distance from a narcissistic individual is generally a healthy choice. Narcissistic relationships can be emotionally draining and toxic, and setting boundaries is crucial for your well-being.
If you find this behavior unsettling or uncomfortable, it's essential to focus on your own needs and emotional health. Trust your instincts, and don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional if you need guidance on how to handle the situation effectively.