When a narcissist wants you to chase them, it is often part of their manipulative behavior and tactics to maintain control and feed their ego. Narcissists thrive on attention, admiration, and a sense of power over others. By making you chase them, they can reinforce their belief in their own superiority and maintain a sense of control in the relationship dynamic. Here are some common dynamics that may occur when a narcissist tries to make you chase them:
Seeking Validation: Narcissists have an insatiable need for validation and admiration. By making you chase them, they can obtain the attention and affirmation they crave. They may use various tactics to keep you hooked, such as intermittent reinforcement, where they give you attention and affection sporadically to keep you hoping for more.
Boosting Their Ego: When you chase a narcissist, it confirms their belief that they are special and desirable. This validation of their self-perceived grandiosity reinforces their ego and sense of superiority.
Power and Control: Chasing someone gives the pursuer a sense of control over the other person's emotions and actions. For a narcissist, this is a way to assert dominance and manipulate your behavior to serve their needs.
Emotional Manipulation: A narcissist may use emotional manipulation and mind games to make you chase them. They may create a sense of insecurity or uncertainty, leaving you feeling anxious and seeking their approval.
Triangulation: Narcissists may use triangulation, which involves involving a third person (such as an ex-partner or a new romantic interest) to trigger jealousy or competition in you, making you chase them to win back their attention.
Ego-Supply: Narcissists feed off the emotional reactions of others, both positive and negative. When you chase them, they receive the ego-supply they crave, whether it's through your efforts to please them or your emotional distress.
Maintaining Control in the Relationship: By making you chase them, the narcissist can create an imbalanced power dynamic in the relationship, where they hold the upper hand and you are constantly striving to win their approval.
It's essential to recognize these manipulative tactics and be cautious of falling into a pattern of chasing a narcissist. Maintaining boundaries, building self-awareness, and seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be helpful in breaking free from the cycle of manipulation and establishing healthier relationships in the future. If the relationship becomes emotionally or physically abusive, it is crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being and consider seeking professional help to navigate the situation safely.