Narcissists may come back to people or situations for several reasons, and it's important to understand that their motives are primarily driven by their own needs and desires, rather than genuine care for others. Here are some reasons why a narcissist might come back:
Ego boost: Narcissists have an insatiable need for admiration and validation. They may come back to someone who previously admired or adored them to regain that sense of importance and specialness.
Control and manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and may come back to maintain control over someone they see as a valuable source of supply. They might return to reassert dominance and power over their targets.
Cycle of idealization and devaluation: Narcissists often go through cycles of idealizing and devaluing their partners or victims. They may come back after a period of devaluation when they feel that the person's self-esteem is low or when they believe they can easily regain control.
Fear of abandonment: Narcissists have an underlying fear of rejection and abandonment, which drives some of their behaviors. They might come back to someone who has distanced themselves or tried to break free from the relationship to ensure they still have a hold on them.
Lack of alternative sources of supply: Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration from others. If their other sources of supply have diminished or dried up, they may return to previous targets to fulfill their needs.
Boredom: Narcissists can get bored easily and seek novelty and excitement. They may come back to past relationships as a way to alleviate their boredom and fill a temporary void.
Hoovering: This term is often used to describe the narcissist's tactic of trying to suck their victims back into a relationship after a period of separation. Hoovering can involve love bombing, promises of change, or guilt-tripping to draw the person back in.
It's crucial to recognize that when a narcissist comes back, their intentions are typically self-serving and not motivated by genuine love or concern for the other person's well-being. Engaging with a narcissist can be emotionally damaging and may perpetuate a cycle of manipulation and abuse.
If you have experienced a relationship with a narcissist and they attempt to come back into your life, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and set boundaries to protect yourself. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic individual.