It's important to recognize that not all narcissists behave the same way, and there can be variations in their behaviors. However, some narcissists may display a lack of interest or emotional neglect towards their own children while seemingly showing attention and care towards a new partner and their child. Several factors contribute to this behavior:
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists tend to idealize new people they are romantically interested in during the initial stages of a relationship. They may shower the new supply and their child with attention, affection, and gifts to win them over. However, as time passes and the novelty wears off, the narcissist may start to devalue and emotionally neglect them, just as they did with their own children.
Ego Boost and Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists are constantly seeking external validation and admiration, known as narcissistic supply. The attention and adoration they receive from a new partner and their child can be a significant ego boost for the narcissist. They may prioritize spending time with the new supply because it feeds their need for admiration and reinforces their sense of self-importance.
Lack of Emotional Bonding: Narcissists often struggle with forming deep emotional connections and empathy. With their own children, they may not feel the same emotional bond as they do with a new partner, leading to emotional neglect or indifference towards their offspring.
Need for Control: Narcissists may perceive their children as an extension of themselves, and they may try to exert control over them. If the children start to assert their independence or challenge the narcissist's authority, the narcissist may become disinterested or even hostile towards them.
Self-Centeredness: Narcissists are primarily focused on their own needs and desires. They may be more invested in a new relationship because it fulfills their immediate needs for attention, admiration, and validation. Children, on the other hand, may not provide the same level of immediate gratification, leading the narcissist to prioritize the new supply instead.
Avoiding Responsibility: Parenting requires selflessness, patience, and empathy, qualities that can be challenging for narcissists. By neglecting or distancing themselves from their own children, they avoid the responsibilities and emotional demands of parenthood.
It's important to remember that narcissistic behavior can be deeply harmful to both the children involved and the partners. If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist or are concerned about a child's well-being, seeking professional support, setting boundaries, and creating a safe environment are essential steps.