Yes, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to say certain things or leave notes for their partner to see, especially as part of their manipulative and controlling behavior. Narcissists often employ various tactics to assert dominance, maintain control, and manipulate their partners emotionally. Leaving notes or saying specific things can be part of their larger strategy to achieve these objectives.
Some common reasons a narcissist may engage in such behavior include:
Gaslighting: Narcissists frequently engage in gaslighting, a manipulative technique where they deny or distort the reality of a situation to make their partner doubt their perception of events. Leaving notes or saying things that contradict previous statements or actions can confuse and destabilize their partner's sense of reality.
Emotional Manipulation: By leaving notes or saying things meant to trigger emotional responses, narcissists can keep their partners off-balance and emotionally dependent on them. They might use emotional language to evoke guilt, fear, or sympathy, further cementing their control.
Seeking Validation: Narcissists crave constant validation and admiration. Leaving notes that highlight their perceived accomplishments, successes, or "kind" gestures can be an attempt to receive praise and attention from their partner.
Power and Control: Leaving notes with explicit instructions or demands can be a way for narcissists to assert their dominance and control over their partner's actions and behavior.
Love-Bombing and Devaluation: In the early stages of a relationship, a narcissist may engage in love-bombing, showering their partner with excessive attention, compliments, and gifts. However, as the relationship progresses, they may switch to devaluation, where they criticize, demean, or leave hurtful notes to undermine their partner's self-esteem.
Boundary Violation: Leaving notes that invade their partner's privacy or cross personal boundaries can be another tactic used by narcissists to assert control and maintain power in the relationship.
It's essential to recognize these behaviors and patterns if you suspect you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Such dynamics can be emotionally harmful and damaging over time. If you find yourself in a situation like this, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a professional therapist who can help you navigate the challenges and explore options for your well-being and safety.