It's important to recognize that emotions like anger are a natural part of being human, but it's also essential to learn how to manage and express them in a healthy way. It's not uncommon for people to act out of anger at times, but repeated occurrences that lead to harmful behavior and hurtful actions can be a cause for concern.
Feeling like a "monster" might be an indication that you're aware of the negative impact your actions have had on your sister and yourself. Acknowledging your behavior and taking responsibility for it is a positive step towards personal growth and change.
Here are some suggestions to help you handle anger in a healthier way:
Recognize your triggers: Understand what situations or thoughts trigger your anger. Knowing your triggers can help you prepare and find healthier responses when these situations arise.
Pause and breathe: When you feel anger rising, try to take a step back, pause, and take deep breaths. This simple action can give you a moment to gather your thoughts before reacting impulsively.
Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in your sister's shoes. Consider how your actions affect her emotionally. Empathizing with others can help you respond more thoughtfully.
Communication: If something is bothering you, try to talk to your sister calmly about it. Express your feelings and concerns in a non-confrontational manner. Effective communication can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
Take breaks: If you feel overwhelmed by anger, it's okay to take a break and step away from the situation until you feel calmer.
Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings and struggles. They might offer perspective or advice to help you cope with your emotions.
Learn relaxation techniques: Consider learning techniques like meditation, mindfulness, or physical activities (e.g., exercise) that can help you manage stress and anger.
Professional help: If you find it challenging to control your anger despite your efforts, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide personalized strategies to address your specific concerns.
Remember, personal growth is a journey, and it's okay to make mistakes. What matters is that you're willing to learn from those mistakes and work towards becoming a better version of yourself. By taking responsibility for your actions and actively working on managing your emotions, you can create a positive change in your relationships and overall well-being.