Narcissistic mothers may pick one person to target for various reasons, depending on the specific dynamics and individual characteristics involved. Here are some potential reasons:
Projection: Narcissistic individuals have a difficult time accepting their flaws or negative traits. Instead, they project these undesirable qualities onto others. The targeted person may remind the narcissistic mother of something she dislikes or resents about herself, and attacking that person becomes a way to cope with her own insecurities.
Scapegoating: Narcissistic mothers may choose a scapegoat within the family as a way to deflect blame from themselves. By focusing on one person as the source of all family issues or dysfunction, the mother can avoid taking responsibility for her own actions and shortcomings.
Jealousy and Competition: Narcissistic mothers may feel threatened by a child's accomplishments, talents, or potential for success. They might target the child who seems to excel or receive more attention from others as a way to suppress feelings of inadequacy or envy.
Need for Control: Narcissistic individuals crave control and dominance in their relationships. By singling out one person for constant criticism and emotional manipulation, the narcissistic mother can exert control over that individual's emotions and actions.
Boundary Violation: Narcissists have difficulty respecting the boundaries of others. The targeted person may be more sensitive, empathetic, or accommodating, making them an easy target for the narcissistic mother's manipulation and exploitation.
Emotional Vulnerability: Narcissists are skilled at identifying emotional vulnerabilities in others and using them to their advantage. The targeted person may be more emotionally open or have experienced past traumas that the narcissistic mother exploits to maintain her power over them.
Reinforcement of Self-Image: The targeted person's emotional reactions to the narcissistic mother's abuse may reinforce her self-image as a powerful and significant figure. It feeds her need for control and dominance to see the person reacting emotionally to her actions.
It's important to note that the dynamics within families with narcissistic mothers can be complex, and the reasons for targeting one person may vary from one situation to another. The impact on the targeted individual can be severe, leading to emotional trauma and low self-esteem. Seeking support from friends, other family members, or a therapist can be beneficial in dealing with the effects of such a relationship and establishing healthy boundaries.