The way ageing narcissists treat their grandchildren can vary depending on the individual, the dynamics of the family, and the severity of the narcissistic traits. Here are some possible ways ageing narcissists might interact with their grandkids:
Grandiose behavior: Narcissists may exaggerate their accomplishments or achievements to impress their grandchildren and gain admiration.
Seeking validation: Narcissistic grandparents might use their grandchildren as a means to seek validation and attention. They may expect constant praise and admiration from the grandkids.
Conditional love: Narcissists may demonstrate love and affection towards their grandchildren but only when it aligns with their desires or when the grandkids comply with their wishes.
Manipulation: Narcissistic grandparents may manipulate their grandkids to fulfill their own needs and desires. They may use guilt or emotional manipulation to get what they want.
Neglect or indifference: Some narcissists may be emotionally detached or indifferent towards their grandchildren's needs and feelings, focusing solely on their own interests.
Competing for attention: Narcissistic grandparents might feel threatened by the attention their children give to the grandkids and compete for the spotlight.
Using grandchildren as props: They may use their grandchildren to present a positive image to others, like boasting about their achievements or using them to appear like a loving and involved grandparent.
Emotional abuse: In severe cases, narcissistic grandparents may emotionally abuse their grandkids, belittling them, demeaning their accomplishments, or making them feel inadequate.
Undermining parents: Narcissists may attempt to undermine the authority and decisions of the grandchildren's parents to assert control or to create discord in the family.
It is essential to remember that not all ageing grandparents with narcissistic traits will behave negatively towards their grandkids. Some might develop more positive and nurturing relationships, especially if they have a desire to change their behavior and seek help.
If you have concerns about how a narcissistic grandparent is treating your children, it's essential to set boundaries to protect your children's emotional well-being. Limiting exposure to toxic behaviors and seeking support from other family members, therapists, or counselors can be helpful in navigating these complex family dynamics.