Dealing with narcissistic individuals can be challenging, especially when they interact with other narcissistic individuals, as it may lead to unhealthy dynamics. Here are some steps you can consider when addressing your concerns with your narcissistic father about engaging with the flying monkeys (supporters or enablers) of your narcissistic wife:
Choose the Right Time and Place: Find a calm and private setting to have this conversation. Avoid discussing it during heated moments or when emotions are running high.
Stay Calm and Collected: When talking to your father, try to remain composed and avoid getting defensive or confrontational. Keep the conversation focused on your concerns rather than blaming or accusing him.
Express Your Feelings: Share your feelings and experiences honestly. Explain how engaging with the flying monkeys affects you and the dynamics within your family.
Set Boundaries: Make it clear that you expect respect for your boundaries and decisions. Let him know what behaviors are not acceptable to you.
Be Specific: Provide specific examples of behaviors or interactions that have caused issues in the past. This can help him understand your perspective better.
Avoid Labels or Name-Calling: While you may recognize narcissistic traits in your wife and your father, labeling them as such during the conversation may provoke a defensive response. Focus on their specific behaviors and the impact on you instead.
Offer Alternatives: Suggest healthier ways of interacting or supporting each other that do not involve enabling or engaging in unhealthy behaviors.
Seek Support: If your father is unwilling to change or respect your boundaries, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate these challenging family dynamics.
Limit Exposure: If necessary, limit your interactions with both your narcissistic wife and your father to protect your well-being and emotional health.
Take Care of Yourself: Dealing with narcissistic individuals can be emotionally draining. Prioritize self-care and surround yourself with supportive and understanding individuals.
Remember that changing the behavior of narcissistic individuals can be difficult, and it's essential to focus on taking care of yourself and setting healthy boundaries to protect your well-being. If the situation becomes too overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek professional guidance to navigate these complex family dynamics.