It is essential to understand that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and individuals with narcissistic traits can display various behaviors and coping mechanisms. While it is true that some narcissists may have difficulties with emotional intimacy, including a fear of getting hurt, not all individuals with narcissistic traits will exhibit the same patterns of behavior.
Covert narcissists, also known as vulnerable or shy narcissists, may share some traits with more overt or grandiose narcissists, but they tend to present themselves differently. They often struggle with low self-esteem, hypersensitivity to criticism, and feelings of inadequacy, which can affect their approach to relationships.
Regarding intimacy and forming romantic relationships, here are some common behaviors associated with covert narcissists:
Fear of Vulnerability: Covert narcissists may fear being emotionally vulnerable with others due to their insecurity and fear of rejection. This fear can lead them to distance themselves emotionally and avoid deep emotional connections.
Idealization and Devaluation: Similar to other narcissistic individuals, covert narcissists may engage in idealizing their partners early in a relationship. They may put their partner on a pedestal and see them as a source of validation and self-worth. However, as the relationship progresses and their partner fails to meet their unrealistic expectations, they may devalue and discard them.
Avoidance of Commitment: Covert narcissists might struggle with committing to a long-term relationship due to their fear of being hurt or exposed. They may avoid commitment as a way to protect themselves from potential emotional pain or rejection.
Self-Centered Behavior: While they may seem empathetic at times, covert narcissists can still display self-centered behavior and an excessive focus on their own feelings and needs. They might be less overt in seeking attention and admiration compared to grandiose narcissists, but their motivations are still rooted in self-preservation.
It's important to remember that not everyone with narcissistic traits will fit neatly into these categories, and individuals can display a mix of behaviors from various personality types. Additionally, people can change and evolve over time, so someone with narcissistic traits may show different behaviors depending on their life circumstances and personal growth.
If you believe you are dealing with a partner who displays narcissistic traits and it's affecting your well-being, seeking guidance from a mental health professional can be beneficial in understanding the situation better and exploring healthy ways to navigate the relationship dynamics.