Covert narcissists may want you to come back after discarding you for several reasons, which are often related to their underlying psychological dynamics and emotional needs. It's important to remember that each individual is unique, and their motivations can vary. However, some common reasons why covert narcissists might try to reconnect after discarding you include:
Need for validation and admiration: Covert narcissists crave validation and admiration from others to maintain their fragile self-esteem. When they discard you, they might realize that they have lost a significant source of admiration and attention. To fill this void and reaffirm their self-worth, they may attempt to bring you back into their life.
Fear of abandonment: Despite their self-centered behavior, covert narcissists can fear abandonment and rejection. Discarding you might have been a way to gain control or because they felt threatened in the relationship. However, once they feel that you might be moving on or no longer giving them attention, they may panic and try to win you back to avoid feeling abandoned themselves.
Securing a backup option: Covert narcissists often seek to have multiple sources of attention and admiration. By keeping you on standby or trying to bring you back after discarding you, they ensure they have a backup option if other sources of validation become scarce.
Ego boost: Manipulating and getting someone to come back after discarding them can give covert narcissists a sense of power and control over others. It strokes their ego and reaffirms their belief in their ability to manipulate and influence people.
Game of power and control: For some covert narcissists, relationships are like a power game. Discarding you and then trying to win you back can be a way for them to assert dominance and control over you emotionally.
Avoiding accountability: Covert narcissists may discard someone if they feel that person is starting to see through their manipulations or question their behavior. By bringing you back, they can avoid facing accountability for their actions and continue their manipulative behavior without consequences.
It's crucial to recognize that if a relationship with a covert narcissist has been toxic and harmful, returning to that relationship is unlikely to lead to a healthy and fulfilling connection. Covert narcissists rarely change their fundamental behavior, and re-engaging with them may perpetuate a cycle of emotional abuse and manipulation.
If you have experienced a relationship with a covert narcissist and are struggling to break free from their influence, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being are essential steps in moving forward and healing from such experiences.