Dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law can be incredibly challenging, and I empathize with the difficulties you face. When it comes to deciding whether to maintain a relationship with her, it's important to consider several factors and prioritize the well-being of both yourself and your husband.
Here are some points to keep in mind:
Your Well-being: First and foremost, consider your emotional well-being. If maintaining a relationship with your mother-in-law is causing you significant distress, anxiety, or harm, it might not be worth sacrificing your own mental health for the sake of the relationship.
Boundaries: Setting healthy boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissistic person. You can establish boundaries that protect you from emotional abuse or manipulation while still allowing limited interaction if you choose to maintain some form of relationship.
Support System: Discuss the situation openly with your husband and ensure that you both understand each other's feelings and perspectives. Having a strong support system within your marriage can help you navigate these challenging dynamics together.
Therapy or Counseling: Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with narcissistic personality traits. They can provide valuable insights and coping strategies for handling difficult family relationships.
Minimize Exposure: If you choose to maintain some level of contact with your mother-in-law, consider minimizing the time and frequency of interactions. This approach can help reduce the negative impact on your emotional well-being.
Empathy for Your Husband: Recognize that your husband's feelings may be complex. He might have grown up in an environment where he felt pressure to please his mother, and the effects of that upbringing can be challenging to overcome. Support him as he navigates his emotions and sets boundaries with his mother as well.
Focus on Your Marriage: Strengthen the bond between you and your husband. Make sure you both prioritize your relationship as a team and communicate openly about how you can best handle the situation together.
Remember that every situation is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to dealing with a narcissistic family member. It's essential to find an approach that works best for you and your husband's emotional well-being. If the situation becomes too overwhelming, seeking professional help can be beneficial in navigating the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic individual.