Narcissists may engage in intermittent contact with their former partners or targets for various reasons, including seeking validation, maintaining control, or getting a reaction. The behavior of texting out of nowhere and then ghosting is often a manipulative tactic that serves their needs, and it can be confusing and hurtful for the other person involved. Here are some potential reasons why a narcissist might engage in such behavior:
Seeking Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and validation. By reaching out to you, even after years of no contact, they may be seeking a quick ego boost or narcissistic supply. Once they get the desired reaction, they may lose interest and ghost you again.
Hoovering: Hoovering is a manipulation tactic used by narcissists to pull their former targets back into the relationship or dynamic. They might want to reestablish contact to see if they can still have control over you or to use you for their emotional needs.
Boredom or Curiosity: Sometimes, narcissists may contact past targets simply out of boredom or curiosity about how you're doing. They might not have any genuine interest in reconnecting or maintaining a relationship.
Power and Control: By initiating contact and then abruptly disappearing, the narcissist can feel a sense of power and control over your emotions. This tactic can be particularly hurtful, as it plays with your feelings and leaves you feeling vulnerable.
Validation of Their Desirability: Some narcissists use intermittent contact to validate their desirability. They want to know that they can still have an impact on you and maintain a sense of control over your emotions.
Manipulative Games: Narcissists are skilled at playing manipulative mind games. The erratic behavior of reaching out and then ghosting can create confusion, anxiety, and emotional turmoil, which may be satisfying to the narcissist.
Feeling Neglected or Rejected: If the narcissist senses that you have moved on and are no longer seeking their attention or validation, they may try to reinsert themselves into your life to regain a sense of importance. Once they perceive that you are not as responsive as they desire, they may disappear again.
Regardless of the specific reason, it's essential to recognize this behavior as manipulative and potentially harmful to your well-being. If you find yourself in this situation, it's best to maintain strong boundaries and avoid getting emotionally entangled. Block or limit contact with the narcissist to protect yourself from further manipulation and emotional distress. Seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to help you process your feelings and move forward in a healthy way. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration in all your relationships.