After being abused and discarded by a narcissist, victims may go through a range of emotions and face various challenges in their recovery process. Here are some common mistakes victims might make and some suggestions on how to survive and heal:
Isolating themselves: Victims of narcissistic abuse may feel ashamed, guilty, or believe that no one will understand their experiences. As a result, they may isolate themselves from friends and family. Instead, try to reach out to supportive and empathetic individuals who can provide emotional support.
Blaming themselves: Victims often internalize the narcissist's gaslighting and manipulation, blaming themselves for the abuse. It's essential to recognize that the responsibility for the abuse lies with the abuser, not the victim.
Ignoring the impact of trauma: Survivors might underestimate the extent of the trauma they experienced, leading them to avoid seeking professional help. Trauma therapy can be highly beneficial in addressing the emotional scars left by the abuse.
Attempting to reason with the narcissist: After the discard, victims might be tempted to seek closure or explanation from the narcissist. However, narcissists are unlikely to provide closure or take responsibility for their actions. It's better to focus on healing yourself than seeking validation from the abuser.
Returning to the abuser: Sometimes victims may be lured back into the toxic relationship due to manipulation or false promises from the narcissist. It's crucial to recognize that narcissists rarely change, and going back to them will likely result in further abuse.
Ignoring No Contact: Implementing No Contact (cutting off all communication with the narcissist) is crucial for healing. However, victims might struggle with breaking this boundary, especially if the narcissist hoovers or attempts to contact them. Stay firm and prioritize your well-being.
Rushing the healing process: Recovery from narcissistic abuse is a gradual process. Trying to rush it or ignoring the emotional work required may hinder healing. Allow yourself time to process your emotions and seek professional help if needed.
To survive and heal after narcissistic abuse:
Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor experienced in trauma and narcissistic abuse. They can provide guidance and support throughout your healing journey.
Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse: Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse can help you regain your sense of self and recognize manipulative tactics.
Build a support network: Connect with friends, family, or support groups who can provide understanding and validation.
Practice self-compassion: Be patient with yourself and practice self-care. Healing from narcissistic abuse takes time and effort.
Set boundaries: Learn to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in all aspects of your life.
Focus on personal growth: Engage in activities that bring you joy, help you discover your passions, and rebuild your self-esteem.
Remember that healing from narcissistic abuse is possible, and with the right support and mindset, you can move forward and rebuild a healthier, happier life.