It's not uncommon for a narcissist's new partner to become fixated or obsessed with the ex-partner, even if the ex-partner has no interest in the narcissist anymore. This behavior can be attributed to several factors:
Comparison and Insecurity: The new partner may feel insecure about themselves and their relationship with the narcissist. They might perceive the ex-partner as a threat, especially if the ex-partner was the one who initiated the breakup. They may compare themselves to the ex-partner and feel inadequate or fear they won't measure up.
Idealization of the Ex: In some cases, the narcissist may have idealized their ex-partner during the relationship or in the aftermath of the breakup. This idealization can create an unrealistic image of the ex-partner that the new partner may fixate on and feel the need to compete with.
Fear of Replacement: The new partner might be worried that the narcissist will go back to their ex-partner or harbor lingering feelings for them. They may try to obsessively keep tabs on the ex-partner to ensure they are not being replaced or that the ex is not interfering in their current relationship.
Validation from Comparison: Some individuals derive validation and a sense of worth by comparing themselves favorably to others. By obsessing over the ex-partner and convincing themselves that they are superior in some way, they can feel a temporary boost in self-esteem.
Manipulation by the Narcissist: The narcissist might intentionally fuel the new partner's obsession with the ex as a way to exert control and keep the new partner emotionally invested in the relationship. This manipulation can strengthen the narcissist's position and diminish any potential for the new partner to question the narcissist's behavior or motives.
Past Wounds: The new partner might have their unresolved emotional issues or insecurities that drive their fixation on the ex-partner. Their behavior may stem from unresolved traumas or patterns from previous relationships.
It's important to understand that the new partner's obsession with the ex-partner is not a reflection of the ex's desirability or worth. Instead, it speaks to the new partner's own insecurities, emotional vulnerabilities, and the dynamics within the narcissist's new relationship.
If you are experiencing unwanted attention or harassment from the new partner, it's essential to set clear boundaries and protect your well-being. Consider limiting or cutting off contact with them and seeking support from friends, family, or professional counselors to help you navigate through any distressing situations.