A narcissist father can have significant and lasting effects on his grown children during a divorce, particularly after a long-term marriage. Here are some ways in which the behavior of a narcissist father can impact his adult children:
Emotional Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled at emotional manipulation and may attempt to turn their adult children against the other parent, especially during a divorce. They might try to portray themselves as victims or martyrs while demonizing the other parent, creating loyalty conflicts for their children.
Guilt and Obligation: Narcissists may use guilt and a sense of obligation to maintain control over their adult children. They may expect their children to take their side in the divorce, blaming the other parent for the marriage breakdown and demanding loyalty above all else.
Emotional Neglect: Narcissists often prioritize their own needs and desires above those of their children. During a divorce, they may be so consumed with their own emotions and issues that they neglect the emotional needs of their adult children, leaving them feeling abandoned or disregarded.
Invalidating Feelings: Narcissists struggle to empathize with others, including their own children. They may invalidate their children's emotions, dismiss their concerns, or gaslight them, making it challenging for the adult children to process their feelings and emotions during the divorce.
Divisiveness and Conflict: Narcissists thrive on conflict and may exacerbate tensions during a divorce, creating a hostile environment for their adult children. This can put immense strain on the relationships between the adult children and both parents, leading to emotional distress and turmoil.
Financial Exploitation: Some narcissists may use financial leverage to maintain control over their adult children during a divorce. They might withhold financial support or threaten to disinherit their children if they don't comply with their wishes.
Sense of Self-Doubt: Grown children of narcissists may struggle with a distorted sense of self and low self-esteem due to a lifetime of being subjected to their father's manipulative and demeaning behavior.
Difficulty in Forming Healthy Relationships: Having a narcissistic father can impact how adult children view relationships and emotional intimacy. They might struggle to form healthy and secure connections with others due to the emotional wounds inflicted during childhood and beyond.
Role Reversal: In some cases, a narcissistic father may have emotionally enmeshed relationships with their adult children, relying on them for emotional support and validation. This can hinder the children's ability to lead independent lives and establish healthy boundaries.
It is essential for adult children of narcissistic parents to seek support and therapy to process the emotional toll of a divorce involving a narcissistic father. Professional counseling can help them navigate the complexities of their emotions, set boundaries, and develop healthier coping mechanisms for their own well-being and future relationships.