It sounds like you had an experience with a person who displayed narcissistic behavior. Narcissists often manipulate and use others for their own benefit, and this can be emotionally hurtful and confusing for those involved with them.
In your case, the person initially expressed interest in having a romantic relationship with you, but later changed their stance, saying they only wanted to keep you as a friend. This kind of behavior can be a classic sign of a narcissist "love-bombing" you at the beginning, making you feel special and wanted, only to devalue or discard you later when they no longer need you for their validation or other reasons.
Here are some key points to consider:
Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators, and they can be charming and persuasive to get what they want. They may use flattery, promises, and affection to draw others in.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists often lack empathy for others and are primarily focused on their own needs and desires. This can lead them to be emotionally insensitive and dismissive of the feelings of others.
Changing their stance: The sudden shift from expressing romantic interest to wanting to be just friends could be a way for the narcissist to keep you as an emotional backup or a source of attention and validation without committing to a deeper relationship.
Emotional impact: Being involved with a narcissist can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and used. It is not uncommon for people to struggle with self-esteem and trust issues after such experiences.
If you find yourself in this situation or have experienced it in the past, it's essential to take care of yourself emotionally. Here are some suggestions:
Set boundaries: Recognize that you have the right to establish and maintain boundaries in your relationships. If someone's behavior is causing you emotional distress, it's okay to distance yourself from them.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your experience. Sharing your feelings and gaining perspective from others can be helpful in processing what happened and healing.
Focus on self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you build your self-esteem. Take time to nurture yourself and prioritize your well-being.
Learn about narcissism: Educating yourself about narcissistic behavior can help you better understand what you experienced and avoid similar situations in the future.
Remember, your worth is not defined by the actions or words of a narcissist or anyone else. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and treat you with respect and kindness.