When a narcissist suddenly becomes nice to you, it's likely a manipulative tactic known as "love bombing." Love bombing is a behavior commonly employed by narcissists to gain control, maintain power over their victims, and elicit emotional dependence. It involves showering someone with excessive affection, attention, and flattery in a short period, often at the beginning of a relationship or when they feel their control over the person is slipping.
There are several reasons why a narcissist might resort to love bombing:
Reel you back in: If the narcissist feels that you are starting to distance yourself or are becoming less responsive to their manipulation, they may use love bombing as a way to lure you back in and reestablish their control over you.
Gain admiration and validation: Narcissists have an insatiable need for admiration and validation. By love bombing, they can create a false sense of closeness and get the admiration they crave.
Elicit reciprocity: Love bombing aims to make the victim feel obligated to reciprocate the affection and attention. Victims may feel guilty or indebted, which can make it harder for them to set boundaries or break away from the relationship.
Idealization phase in the cycle of abuse: Love bombing is often part of the idealization phase in the cycle of abuse. The cycle typically involves three stages: idealization, devaluation, and discard. During the idealization phase, the narcissist portrays themselves as perfect and puts the victim on a pedestal.
Mask their true intentions: Love bombing allows the narcissist to mask their negative traits and intentions. By being excessively nice and charming, they can hide their manipulative behavior and keep the victim unaware of their true nature.
It's essential to recognize love bombing for what it is—a manipulative tactic used to control and exploit others emotionally. If you notice this behavior in a relationship, it's crucial to take a step back, set boundaries, and seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Remember that healthy relationships are built on trust, mutual respect, and genuine care, not on manipulation and power dynamics.