If a narcissistic ex (male) refers to his new female contacts or flings by your current boyfriend's name, there could be a few possible explanations for this behavior:
Intentional Manipulation: Narcissists are known for their manipulative tactics. By using your current boyfriend's name when referring to his new flings, the narcissistic ex might be trying to evoke jealousy or insecurity in you. This could be a way for him to exert control over your emotions and keep you emotionally invested in him even after the breakup.
Seeking a Reaction: Narcissists often thrive on attention and drama. By mentioning your current boyfriend's name, he might be seeking a reaction from you, hoping to provoke a response that reaffirms his belief that you still care about him or are affected by his actions.
Triangulation: Narcissists may engage in triangulation, where they involve a third party to create tension and competition between you and the new person in their life. By using your boyfriend's name, he might be trying to create a sense of competition or comparison, as if he's suggesting that the new flings are on the same level as your current relationship.
Emotional Regression: In some cases, narcissists might regress emotionally after a breakup. By using your boyfriend's name, he might be trying to relive moments from your past relationship or maintain a connection to you, even if it's a negative one.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have difficulty understanding or considering the feelings of others. Mentioning your boyfriend's name may be purely self-serving, without any regard for how it might affect you.
Deliberate Provocation: Narcissists may enjoy provoking strong emotional reactions in others. By mentioning your boyfriend's name in the context of his new flings, he might be aiming to get a rise out of you or to upset you intentionally.
It's important to recognize that these actions are manipulative and potentially harmful. If you find yourself in this situation, it's essential to establish healthy boundaries and distance yourself from the narcissistic ex. Consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the emotional challenges that may arise from dealing with a narcissistic individual. Remember that your emotional well-being is paramount, and you have the right to protect yourself from toxic influences.