The decision of whether or not to wish your toxic mother "Happy Birthday" is a complex one and can vary depending on the specific circumstances and your relationship with her. It's essential to consider your emotional well-being and the history of your interactions with your mother.
If your mother has been consistently toxic and abusive towards you, it's natural to have reservations about wishing her well on her birthday. In such cases, it's essential to prioritize your mental and emotional health. You shouldn't feel guilty for setting boundaries or distancing yourself from someone who negatively impacts your well-being.
However, the decision is ultimately yours to make, and it's crucial to consider how your actions align with your values and what you feel comfortable with. If you choose not to wish her well, you might want to examine your feelings and discuss them with a supportive friend, family member, or therapist to gain clarity and maintain a sense of emotional balance.
Remember that every family dynamic is unique, and what might be right for someone else may not be the best choice for you. Trust your instincts and prioritize your mental and emotional health when making this decision.