Dealing with anger and hurt after being used and manipulated by a narcissist is entirely understandable. It can be challenging to let go of those feelings, especially when the person responsible seems unapologetic or tries to justify their actions. Here are some steps that may help you manage and eventually reduce your anger:
Accept Your Emotions: It's essential to acknowledge and accept your feelings of anger and hurt. Understand that what you went through was difficult and that your emotions are valid reactions to the situation.
Set Boundaries: If the narcissist is still in your life, consider setting clear boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. It may involve limiting or cutting off contact with them, especially if they continue to be toxic and manipulative.
Limit Rumination: Replaying the hurtful events and arguments repeatedly in your mind can fuel anger and prolong your pain. Try to avoid dwelling on the past and instead focus on the present and your path to healing.
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. Venting your emotions and gaining perspective from others can be therapeutic and provide validation.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you deserve understanding and care. Avoid self-blame for what happened; narcissists are skilled manipulators, and their actions are not your fault.
Engage in Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being. This might include exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.
Focus on Healing: Invest your energy in personal growth and healing. Consider therapy or counseling to work through the emotional aftermath of the abuse.
Distance Yourself: If possible, create physical and emotional distance from the narcissist and their influences. Surround yourself with supportive and empathetic individuals who uplift you.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you stay grounded and centered in the present moment, reducing rumination and intrusive thoughts.
Forgive (for Yourself): Forgiveness does not mean condoning the narcissist's behavior or reconciling with them. Instead, it's about releasing yourself from the emotional burden of holding onto anger. Forgiveness can be a process that takes time, but ultimately, it's about granting yourself peace and closure.
Journaling: Write about your feelings and experiences in a journal. This can help you process your emotions and gain clarity.
Remember, healing from narcissistic abuse is a gradual process, and it's okay to take the time you need. Be patient with yourself and focus on reclaiming your power and building a healthier, happier life moving forward. If your anger and emotional distress become overwhelming, consider seeking professional help from a therapist specializing in trauma and abuse. They can provide valuable guidance and support on your journey to healing.