In general, narcissists have a complicated relationship with others, and their desires and motivations can vary based on their individual personalities and circumstances. While some narcissists may prefer to be the one who ends relationships, others may be more conflicted in their desires.
Here are a few scenarios to consider:
Idealization and Devaluation: In the early stages of a relationship, a narcissist may idealize their partner, viewing them as perfect and showering them with attention and admiration. However, as time goes on and the initial excitement fades, they may start to devalue their partner, finding faults and becoming critical. In such cases, the narcissist may not want their partner to leave, but they might unconsciously push them away through mistreatment, emotional manipulation, and undermining their self-esteem.
Fear of Abandonment: Despite their grandiose exterior, many narcissists harbor deep-seated insecurities and fear being abandoned or rejected. They may cling to a partner out of fear of being alone or losing a source of validation.
Need for Control: Narcissists crave control and dominance in their relationships. If they feel that their partner is pulling away or considering leaving, they may work to maintain control by trying to keep them hooked through manipulation, guilt-tripping, or even love-bombing (excessive displays of affection and attention) to win them back.
Seeking New Supply: Some narcissists have a constant need for attention, admiration, and validation. They may be prone to seeking new sources of supply, which can lead them to devalue and discard their current partner when they find someone new to fulfill their needs.
Triangulation: Narcissists may engage in triangulation, where they bring in a third person (such as an ex-partner or new love interest) to create jealousy and insecurity in their current partner. This tactic can be used to maintain a sense of control and keep the current partner emotionally invested in the relationship.
It's important to remember that narcissists' behavior can be unpredictable, and not all narcissists will follow the same patterns. Additionally, not all individuals with narcissistic traits are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), as traits can exist on a spectrum. If you are dealing with a narcissistic individual, it is essential to prioritize your own well-being and consider seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals to navigate the emotional challenges effectively.