No, it does not mean you were bad for the covert narcissist, nor does it mean you were worthless to be hoovered. The absence of hoovering after 22 days of no contact does not reflect your value as a person.
In a relationship with a narcissist, the hoovering technique is a manipulation tactic they use to try to regain control over you or draw you back into the relationship. However, there can be various reasons why you haven't been hoovered yet, none of which are a reflection of your worth or your impact on the narcissist.
Some possible reasons for the lack of hoovering might include:
They are currently focused on other sources of narcissistic supply: Narcissists tend to have multiple sources of validation and attention. If they are getting what they need from other individuals, they might not feel the immediate need to hoover you.
They might be respecting your boundaries: Though it's less common, some narcissists might choose to respect your no-contact decision, especially if they believe there is no benefit in attempting to hoover you back.
Timing and circumstances: There might be external factors, life events, or other priorities in the narcissist's life that are preventing them from hoovering at this particular moment.
They are seeking a new target: Narcissists often move on to new targets when previous sources of supply are no longer serving their needs.
Remember, narcissists have their own complex psychological motivations, and their behavior is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. No contact is a healthy step to protect yourself from the toxicity of a narcissistic relationship and to focus on your healing and well-being.
It's essential to continue prioritizing yourself during this time and stay committed to your no-contact boundary. If you find yourself struggling with emotions or questions about your self-worth, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional who can help you navigate through these difficult emotions and rebuild your self-esteem.