The behavior of narcissists can vary significantly from person to person, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. However, it is true that some narcissists wear various masks and may struggle to have an authentic sense of self due to their deep-seated insecurity and need for external validation.
A "lifetime grandiose narcissist" typically refers to an individual who has displayed narcissistic traits and behaviors consistently over a long period. For such individuals, allowing their true selves to interact with their significant other can be challenging for several reasons:
Fear of Vulnerability: Narcissists often avoid showing vulnerability as it goes against their need to maintain an image of superiority and invulnerability. Revealing their true selves may involve exposing insecurities or weaknesses, which they work hard to conceal.
Control and Power: Narcissists are driven by a desire for control and power over others. They may feel that showing their true selves could lead to a loss of control in the relationship.
Manipulation and Deception: Narcissists may engage in manipulation and deception to maintain their desired image and keep their partner under their influence. Their true selves might not align with the charming persona they present to their significant other.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often struggle to empathize with others, including their partners. Their focus is primarily on their own needs and desires, making it challenging for them to connect authentically with their significant other.
Avoiding Intimacy: Genuine intimacy requires emotional openness and vulnerability. Narcissists may avoid intimacy as they fear being exposed or losing control over the relationship.
Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists often go through cycles of idealizing their partners initially and later devaluing them when their flaws become apparent. This cycle makes it challenging for their partners to see their true selves consistently.
While some narcissists may occasionally show glimpses of vulnerability or their true selves in certain situations, it is generally difficult for them to sustain a genuine, authentic connection with their significant other due to their personality traits and defense mechanisms.
It's essential to recognize that dealing with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally taxing and detrimental to one's well-being. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in understanding the dynamics of the relationship and exploring healthier coping strategies. In some cases, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship to prioritize your own emotional and mental health.