Narcissists may feel intense discomfort and even exhibit strong negative emotions when they see their ex-partners with somebody else due to several underlying reasons:
Ego and entitlement: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are special and deserving of special treatment. Seeing their ex-partner with someone else challenges their belief that they are the best or most significant person in their ex-partner's life. This can lead to feelings of wounded pride and a sense of entitlement, as they may believe their ex should still be pining for them.
Loss of control and power: Narcissists often seek to exert control over their partners and maintain power in their relationships. When an ex-partner moves on and finds happiness with someone else, the narcissist loses control over that person and the ability to influence their emotions and actions. This loss of control can be threatening and trigger feelings of insecurity and anger.
Fear of abandonment: Underneath the narcissist's grandiose facade lies a deep fear of rejection and abandonment. Seeing their ex-partner with a new partner reinforces the idea that they have been replaced, which intensifies their fear of being discarded and forgotten.
Narcissistic injury: Narcissists have fragile self-esteem and are highly sensitive to perceived slights or criticism. Witnessing their ex-partner in a happy relationship can be a direct blow to their ego and self-worth, causing what is known as a "narcissistic injury."
Jealousy and envy: Narcissists may feel jealous and envious of their ex-partner's new relationship, as they believe they should be the one receiving attention, admiration, and love. They may resent the new partner and feel that they are unworthy of the love and happiness the narcissist believes they should have exclusively.
Need for validation: Narcissists continually seek validation from others to maintain their self-esteem. When their ex-partner moves on and finds happiness elsewhere, it can challenge the narcissist's belief in their desirability and attractiveness, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists often struggle to empathize with others' emotions or perspectives. As a result, they may not be capable of understanding or accepting that their ex-partner has the right to move on and find happiness with someone else.
It's essential to remember that narcissistic behavior is driven by deep-seated insecurities and emotional vulnerabilities. However, it's crucial for those dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner to prioritize their well-being, set healthy boundaries, and seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals to navigate the challenges that can arise during and after the end of a relationship with a narcissist.