When you reject a narcissist's request, their reaction can vary depending on the individual and the context of the situation. Narcissists have difficulty handling rejection due to their fragile self-esteem and intense need for validation and control. Here are some potential reactions a narcissist may have when faced with rejection:
Anger and aggression: Narcissists may respond to rejection with anger, hostility, or aggression. They may feel wounded or humiliated by the rejection, and as a result, they might lash out verbally or emotionally.
Manipulation and guilt-tripping: A narcissist may try to manipulate your emotions and guilt-trip you into changing your decision. They might play the victim, making you feel responsible for their distress.
Gaslighting: Narcissists are known for gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation in which they try to make you doubt your perceptions, memories, or feelings. If you reject their request, they may attempt to make you feel guilty, selfish, or unreasonable.
Hoovering: After being rejected, some narcissists may engage in "hoovering," which means trying to suck you back into the relationship or situation. They might reach out with promises to change or attempts to rekindle the connection.
Silent treatment: A narcissist might use the silent treatment as a way to punish you for rejecting their request. They may withdraw emotionally or cut off communication temporarily.
Seeking revenge: In some cases, a narcissist may feel a strong desire for revenge if they feel that you have wounded their ego. This revenge can take different forms, such as spreading rumors about you, sabotaging your reputation, or engaging in other malicious behaviors.
Devaluation and discard: If the narcissist perceives the rejection as a severe threat to their ego, they may resort to devaluing you, belittling your worth, or discarding you altogether, especially if they believe they can find a new source of admiration and validation elsewhere.
It's essential to remember that narcissistic reactions can be unpredictable, and their behavior is often driven by a deep-seated insecurity and fear of abandonment. When dealing with a narcissist's reaction to rejection, it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and maintain healthy boundaries. Stay firm in your decisions, avoid engaging in arguments or emotional manipulation, and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.
If you are co-parenting with a narcissistic ex-partner, ensure you prioritize the well-being of your child and consider seeking legal advice or mediation to handle any contentious situations. It's essential to remain focused on your own emotional health and avoid being drawn into the narcissist's attempts to provoke or control you.