I can provide some general insights into the dynamics of narcissistic behavior regarding wanting someone back.
If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist and have separated or ended the relationship, there might be instances when the narcissist tries to come back into your life. The likelihood of a narcissist wanting you back can depend on various factors, including:
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists thrive on attention, admiration, and validation from others. If they perceive that they are losing a valuable source of narcissistic supply (you), they may attempt to reel you back in to continue receiving the attention and emotional energy they crave.
Fear of Abandonment: Though narcissists may not have genuine emotional attachments, they can fear abandonment or losing control over their targets. If they sense that you are moving on or becoming independent, they may try to reassert control by attempting to get you back.
Idealization-Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists often cycle between idealizing and devaluing their targets. They may have once idealized you during the love bombing phase, and if they perceive that you are no longer as receptive to their manipulation, they may attempt to reignite the idealization phase to draw you back in.
Need for Power and Control: Narcissists are driven by a need for power and control over others. Wanting you back might not necessarily stem from genuine love or affection but rather a desire to maintain control over you and the relationship.
Hoovering: Hoovering is a term used to describe the manipulative tactic narcissists use to suck their victims back into their orbit. They may employ tactics such as remorse, promises of change, or playing on your emotions to make you feel guilty or responsible for their well-being.
Lack of Empathy and Selfish Motives: It's crucial to remember that a narcissist's desire to get you back might not be based on authentic feelings or concern for your well-being. Instead, it could be driven by their own selfish needs and ego.
It's essential to approach any potential reconciliation with caution, especially when dealing with a narcissist. Re-engaging with a narcissistic individual can lead to further emotional manipulation, abuse, and harm. If you have separated from a narcissistic partner, it's advisable to focus on your well-being, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist, and establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation or abuse.