Yes, it is not uncommon for individuals who have left a narcissistic partner to later consider or want to get back together with them. There are several reasons why someone might feel this way:
Trauma bonding: Narcissists can create a strong emotional bond with their victims, known as trauma bonding. This bond can make it challenging for the victim to fully detach from the narcissist even after leaving the relationship. The victim may feel a mix of conflicting emotions, including fear, dependency, and a desire to please the narcissist.
Idealization and devaluation cycles: Narcissists often cycle between idealization and devaluation. During the idealization phase, they may shower their partner with love, affection, and attention, making the victim feel special and valued. When the devaluation phase begins, the narcissist becomes critical, emotionally distant, or even abusive. After leaving, the victim might reminisce about the positive aspects of the idealization phase and yearn for that version of the narcissist.
Manipulation and gaslighting: Narcissists are skilled manipulators who can gaslight their partners into believing that the problems in the relationship were entirely the victim's fault. They may convince the victim that they were the problem and that things will be different if they give the narcissist another chance.
Fear of being alone: Leaving a relationship, even a toxic one, can be terrifying, especially if the victim has been isolated from friends and family by the narcissist. The fear of being alone or not finding another partner can make the victim contemplate going back to the narcissist.
Hope for change: Some victims hold onto the hope that the narcissist will change and become the loving and caring person they appeared to be during the idealization phase. They might believe that if they try harder or do things differently, the narcissist will be different too.
Emotional attachment and love: Despite the abuse and manipulation, victims of narcissistic abuse may still have genuine feelings of love and attachment to the narcissist. These feelings can make it difficult to completely let go of the relationship.
It's essential to recognize that going back to a narcissistic partner is unlikely to lead to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Narcissistic abuse is harmful and can have long-lasting negative effects on a person's mental and emotional well-being. If you or someone you know is in such a situation, seeking professional help, support from friends and family, and counseling can be crucial in breaking free from the cycle of abuse and moving towards healing and growth.