Giving closure is not a common trait among narcissists. Narcissistic individuals often have a deep-seated need for admiration, lack empathy, and struggle with emotional intimacy. They tend to focus on their own needs and desires, often disregarding the feelings of others. As a result, when it comes to ending a relationship or situation, narcissists may handle closure in ways that are self-serving and insensitive.
Here are some ways narcissists may give closure:
Ghosting: Narcissists might abruptly cut off contact and disappear without any explanation. They may not feel the need to provide closure or discuss their reasons for ending the relationship, as they prioritize their own emotional needs over the other person's.
Blame and Deflection: When confronted about the need for closure, narcissists might shift blame onto the other person, making them feel responsible for the relationship's failure. They might use tactics like gaslighting, where they manipulate the other person's perception of reality to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Idealization and Devaluation: In some cases, narcissists might alternate between idealizing and devaluing the other person. Initially, they might shower the person with affection and love (idealization), making the breakup confusing and emotionally challenging. Then, they might suddenly devalue the person, criticizing and degrading them, causing further emotional distress.
Hoovering: After ending a relationship, narcissists may try to "hoover" the other person back into the relationship by rekindling the initial charm and affection. They may do this to maintain control, boost their ego, or gain something they want from the person.
Lack of Genuine Closure: Even if a narcissist appears to give closure, it is often superficial and insincere. They may offer excuses or apologies that lack sincerity, and their actions might not align with their words.
It's important to remember that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and not all individuals with narcissistic tendencies will behave in the same way. Some may be more aware of their behavior and may try to improve, while others may remain deeply entrenched in their narcissistic patterns.
If you find yourself dealing with a narcissist and seeking closure, it's essential to focus on your own healing and well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be valuable in navigating the challenges of dealing with a narcissistic individual and moving forward in a healthy way.