Narcissists can be skilled at manipulation and presenting themselves in a positive light to convince people that they have changed. They often use various tactics to manipulate others' perceptions and gain their trust. Here are some common strategies that narcissists may use to convince people that they have changed:
Love bombing: In the beginning, narcissists may shower others with excessive affection, compliments, and attention. This "love bombing" can make people believe that the narcissist has genuinely changed and is now more caring and considerate.
Apologies and remorse: Narcissists may offer seemingly sincere apologies for their past behaviors, expressing remorse and regret. They may promise to change and be better in the future, appealing to people's empathy and desire to believe in the possibility of redemption.
Idealization and charm: Narcissists can charm and flatter others, making them feel special and valued. This idealization can make people more inclined to believe that the narcissist has changed for the better.
Playing the victim: Narcissists may use a victim mentality to garner sympathy from others. They might portray themselves as having been mistreated or misunderstood in the past, which can evoke a protective response from people who want to support them.
Isolating criticism: When faced with criticism or doubts about their change, narcissists may attempt to isolate the individuals raising concerns. They might label these individuals as negative, jealous, or not understanding their transformation, causing others to question the validity of the doubts.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a tactic in which the narcissist manipulates someone into questioning their perceptions and reality. They may deny past harmful behaviors or twist events to make themselves appear innocent or misunderstood.
Temporary change: Narcissists might temporarily modify their behavior to convince people they have changed. However, this change is often short-lived, and they may revert to their old patterns once they feel secure in their deception.
False humility: Narcissists may display false humility, downplaying their accomplishments or portraying themselves as vulnerable to gain sympathy and admiration from others.
It's crucial for people to be cautious and vigilant when dealing with individuals they suspect may be narcissists. Genuine change in narcissistic behavior is rare and challenging, as it often requires intensive therapy and significant self-awareness, both of which are typically lacking in narcissists.
If you have concerns about someone's claim of change, it's essential to trust your instincts and be cautious. Pay attention to consistent, long-term changes in behavior rather than being swayed by temporary displays of change. Surround yourself with supportive friends and seek the guidance of a mental health professional to navigate these challenging relationships.