Narcissists may claim to change or promise to change under various circumstances. However, it's important to approach these claims with caution and skepticism, as true and lasting change in narcissistic behavior is generally rare and challenging to achieve.
Here are some situations when narcissists may say they will change:
Facing Consequences: If a narcissist's behavior has led to significant negative consequences in their personal or professional life, they might promise to change as a way to avoid further repercussions or to regain control over the situation.
Threat of Abandonment: When a narcissist feels the risk of losing a valued source of narcissistic supply, such as a long-term partner or a close friend, they might express a willingness to change in an attempt to keep that person in their life.
Intimate Relationship Struggles: During times of relational conflict or when the narcissist's partner is considering ending the relationship, the narcissist might use the promise of change as a way to prolong the connection and maintain control.
Seeking Empathy and Sympathy: Sometimes, narcissists might claim to change as a manipulation tactic to evoke sympathy and empathy from others, playing the victim to gain attention and support.
Therapy or Counseling: If the narcissist is attending therapy or counseling, they might occasionally say they are changing to appease the therapist or to create a facade of personal growth, but this may not always reflect genuine inner change.
Seeking New Sources of Narcissistic Supply: When a narcissist is trying to charm a new target or potential source of admiration, they may present themselves as someone who has changed or is working on self-improvement.
Temporary Adaptation: Narcissists can be skilled at adapting their behavior temporarily to achieve their immediate goals. However, this is often superficial and short-lived, as they revert to their old patterns once their objectives are met.
It's essential to remember that narcissistic personality traits are deeply ingrained and tend to be resistant to change. Genuine and lasting change in narcissistic behavior usually requires intensive and long-term psychotherapy, and even then, it is not guaranteed.
If you are dealing with a narcissist who claims to change, it is essential to prioritize your own well-being and safety. Be cautious about accepting their promises at face value and consider seeking support from a qualified mental health professional who can provide guidance and help you navigate the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic individual.