It's understandable that discovering the role your mom played in the emotional trauma you endured can lead to feelings of resentment. Acknowledging and processing these emotions is an essential step in healing and moving forward. Here are some suggestions to help you cope with and eventually overcome these feelings:
Allow yourself to feel and validate your emotions: Resentment is a natural response to emotional pain. Give yourself permission to experience these feelings without judgment. It's okay to be angry, hurt, or upset about the past.
Practice self-compassion: Remember that it's normal to have complicated feelings about your past and your relationship with your mom. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding as you navigate through these emotions.
Seek support from others: Consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings. Having someone who can listen without judgment can be incredibly helpful in the healing process.
Set healthy boundaries: If your relationship with your mom is challenging, it's essential to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. This might involve limiting contact, setting clear expectations, and prioritizing your emotional well-being.
Practice forgiveness (if ready): Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, but it's important to note that forgiveness is a personal journey, and it may take time. Forgiveness does not mean condoning harmful behavior but can be a way of releasing the hold the past has on you.
Focus on personal growth: Concentrate on your own personal development and healing. Engage in activities that bring you joy, pursue hobbies, and invest in self-care.
Consider therapy or counseling: Professional therapy can be a valuable resource to explore your past, gain insights into your emotions and behaviors, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Educate yourself about narcissism: Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic relationships and how they can affect you can provide valuable insights into your experiences and help you build healthier connections in the future.
Practice gratitude: While it might be challenging to feel grateful in this situation, finding even small things to be grateful for can shift your focus away from negative emotions.
Set realistic expectations: Recognize that healing and letting go of resentment is a process that may take time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate each step forward.
Remember, healing from past emotional trauma is a journey, and there is no set timeline for processing these emotions. Be gentle with yourself and prioritize your well-being as you work through these feelings. With time, effort, and support, you can move toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.