The desire for a divorce in a narcissistic relationship can vary depending on the specific dynamics and circumstances involved. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as narcissists' behavior can be unpredictable and manipulative. Here are some potential scenarios regarding a narcissist and divorce:
Narcissistic Supply Source: If the narcissist sees their spouse as a reliable source of narcissistic supply (attention, admiration, validation, etc.), they may want to maintain the relationship. In this case, they might be reluctant to initiate a divorce as it could mean losing the emotional energy and validation they receive from their spouse.
Control and Dominance: Narcissists often crave control and power in their relationships. If they believe that initiating a divorce would give them more control over their spouse or enable them to manipulate the situation further, they might consider pursuing a divorce.
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists tend to go through cycles of idealizing and devaluing their partners. During the idealization phase, they may express love and affection, making it seem like they don't want a divorce. However, during the devaluation phase, they might become emotionally distant or abusive, leading the spouse to consider divorce.
Escape Strategy: On the other hand, if the narcissist perceives that their partner is pulling away or considering divorce, they might take the initiative to file for divorce first. This tactic allows them to maintain a sense of control and avoid feeling rejected.
Entitlement and Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often have a sense of entitlement and lack empathy for others' feelings and needs. If they believe that a divorce would serve their interests or provide them with more favorable circumstances, they might pursue it without considering the emotional impact on their spouse.
Using Divorce as a Manipulation Tactic: Some narcissists might threaten divorce or create a chaotic relationship environment to manipulate their partner emotionally. This tactic is meant to keep the spouse in a state of fear or dependence, making it easier for the narcissist to control them.
Ultimately, narcissists prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their partners. Whether they want a divorce or not will depend on how they perceive the situation and what serves their interests best at that moment.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist and are contemplating divorce or dealing with divorce proceedings, it is crucial to seek support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in abusive relationships. They can help you navigate the complexities of the situation and provide guidance to protect your well-being throughout the process.