It's important to clarify that not all relationships involve a narcissistic individual, and not all relationship issues can be attributed solely to one person's behavior. You are right that in healthy relationships, there are typically two sides to every issue, and both partners share responsibility for the dynamics and outcomes.
However, when people talk about a narcissist's fault in a relationship, they may be referring to the specific dynamics and challenges that arise when one partner is dealing with narcissistic traits or a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain.
In relationships involving a narcissistic individual, certain patterns tend to emerge, which can make it feel like everything is one-sided. Some common characteristics of relationships with narcissists include:
Lack of empathy: Narcissists often struggle to empathize with their partners' feelings and needs, making it difficult for the relationship to feel balanced.
Manipulation and control: Narcissists may engage in manipulative behaviors to maintain power and control in the relationship, leaving their partner feeling helpless and unheard.
Self-centeredness: Due to their excessive focus on themselves, narcissists may dominate conversations and decision-making, leading to a lopsided dynamic.
Blame-shifting: When problems arise, narcissists may avoid taking responsibility and instead shift blame onto their partner or external factors.
Idealization and devaluation: Narcissists may go through cycles of idealizing their partner and then devaluing them, creating a rollercoaster of emotions for the non-narcissistic partner.
It's essential to remember that relationships involving narcissists can be complex and emotionally challenging. The non-narcissistic partner may end up feeling like they are constantly walking on eggshells, trying to please the narcissist and avoid conflicts.
However, it is crucial not to generalize and label all issues in every relationship as solely the fault of one individual. Healthy relationships require open communication, empathy, and compromise from both partners. Even in relationships where one partner exhibits narcissistic traits, it's essential to address the issues with compassion and understanding while also recognizing and setting boundaries to protect one's well-being.
If you are experiencing challenges in your relationship, seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, can be beneficial in understanding and addressing the underlying issues and improving communication between partners.