Having a narcissistic parent can have significant and lasting effects on both the golden child and the scapegoat/lost child. These roles are often observed in dysfunctional families with a narcissistic parent, and each child may experience distinct psychological and emotional consequences:
Golden Child:
- Enmeshment: The golden child is often favored and seen as an extension of the narcissistic parent. They may be excessively praised and held to high expectations, leading to an enmeshed relationship where the child's identity becomes entwined with meeting the parent's needs.
- Grandiosity and Entitlement: Growing up in an environment where they are constantly praised and protected, the golden child may develop a sense of grandiosity and entitlement, believing they are inherently superior to others.
- Lack of Empathy: Due to being shielded from the negative consequences of their actions and the lack of empathy modeled by the narcissistic parent, the golden child may struggle to empathize with others.
- Dependency on Parental Approval: The golden child may become overly dependent on the narcissistic parent's approval and validation, leading to difficulties in developing a strong sense of self and autonomy.
Scapegoat/Lost Child:
- Blame and Criticism: The scapegoat/lost child is often subjected to blame and criticism for everything that goes wrong within the family. They may be made to feel inadequate and at fault for the family's problems.
- Isolation and Neglect: To maintain the family's dysfunctional dynamic, the scapegoat/lost child may be emotionally neglected and isolated. Their needs and emotions are frequently ignored or dismissed.
- Low Self-Esteem: Consistent negative reinforcement can lead to low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness in the scapegoat/lost child. They may internalize the negative messages they receive and struggle with self-acceptance.
- Rebellion or Withdrawal: As a way to cope with the constant criticism and pressure, the scapegoat/lost child may either rebel against authority or withdraw and become emotionally distant.
It's important to note that these roles are not fixed, and children in narcissistic families may shift between roles or exhibit a combination of characteristics from both roles. The effects on each child can vary depending on individual factors, such as their temperament, resilience, and support systems outside the family.
Growing up in a narcissistic family environment can be extremely challenging and may result in long-term emotional and psychological issues. Adult children of narcissistic parents may benefit from seeking therapy or counseling to address the effects of their upbringing and work towards healing and building healthier relationships in the future.