I can provide information based on common experiences reported by individuals who have been in such relationships.
One of the challenging aspects of being in a relationship with a narcissist is the psychological manipulation and gaslighting that often occurs. Gaslighting is a tactic used by narcissists to make their partners doubt their own perceptions, memory, and sanity. They may distort the truth, deny events, or blame their partner for things that are not their fault, leading the partner to question their own judgment.
Here are some things that might make someone in a narcissistic relationship doubt if they are the narcissist:
Projection: Narcissists often project their negative traits and actions onto others. They might accuse their partner of being selfish, manipulative, or uncaring when, in reality, those are traits the narcissist possesses.
Blame-Shifting: Narcissists are skilled at deflecting blame from themselves onto their partners. They may make their partner feel responsible for the issues in the relationship, even when the problems are caused by the narcissist's behavior.
Constant Criticism: Narcissists tend to be highly critical of their partners, pointing out their perceived flaws and shortcomings. This continuous criticism can make the partner feel like they are the problem in the relationship.
Emotional Rollercoaster: The cycle of idealization and devaluation in a narcissistic relationship can leave the partner feeling confused and emotionally unstable. During the idealization phase, the partner may believe they are the center of the narcissist's world, only to be devalued later without understanding why.
Doubt and Low Self-Esteem: Narcissists often undermine their partner's self-esteem, causing them to doubt themselves and their worth. This can make the partner question if they are the one causing the problems in the relationship.
Loss of Identity: In a narcissistic relationship, the partner's identity and needs often take a backseat to the narcissist's demands. Over time, the partner may lose touch with their own wants and desires, making it harder to differentiate their behavior from the narcissist's.
Empathy and Guilt: Partners of narcissists may have high levels of empathy, which the narcissist may exploit. They may guilt-trip the partner into staying in the relationship or accepting responsibility for the narcissist's actions.
It's essential to remember that feeling doubt about being the narcissist in the relationship is a common experience for many partners of narcissists. This doubt often arises from the psychological manipulation and gaslighting tactics employed by the narcissist. If you are in such a situation, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help you gain clarity and regain your sense of self-worth.