I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through such a difficult and challenging situation. Recovering from 18 years of being with an abusive narcissistic spouse can be a long and gradual process, but it is possible to reclaim your life and rediscover yourself. Here are some steps to help you get started on the path to healing and finding yourself again:
Seek Professional Help: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in narcissistic abuse and trauma. They can provide you with the support, guidance, and coping strategies you need to navigate this challenging time.
Establish No Contact: If it's safe and possible, cut off all contact with your abusive spouse. Maintaining distance can help you detach emotionally and focus on your own healing without being pulled back into the toxicity.
Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with understanding and empathetic friends, family members, or support groups. Having a strong support network can be instrumental in helping you cope and regain your sense of self.
Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your life. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and peace. This could include hobbies, exercise, spending time in nature, or practicing mindfulness and meditation.
Set Small Goals: Start by setting achievable and realistic goals for yourself. Celebrate each small achievement, as they can provide a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissistic abuse and the impact it can have on victims. Understanding the dynamics of the relationship can help you process your experiences and regain your sense of reality.
Explore Your Interests: Take the time to reconnect with your passions and interests, even if you've lost touch with them during the abusive relationship.
Practice Gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life and practice gratitude. Gratitude can help shift your mindset and improve your overall outlook on life.
Limit Stressors: Minimize exposure to stressful situations or triggers that may remind you of the abusive past.
Celebrate Your Strength: Recognize and acknowledge the strength it takes to leave an abusive relationship and start the healing process. Give yourself credit for taking steps towards a better life.
Be Patient with Yourself: Healing from long-term abuse is a gradual process, and it's okay to have ups and downs. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself time to heal.
Consider Legal and Safety Measures: If necessary, seek legal advice and take steps to ensure your safety and protection.
Remember that healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey, and it's essential to be gentle with yourself during this time. Celebrate the progress you make, no matter how small it may seem, and seek professional help if you find yourself struggling to cope. Recovery is possible, and with the right support and commitment to self-care, you can find yourself again and move towards a healthier and happier life.