When a narcissist says they are a changed person, it can mean a few different things, and the true meaning behind their statement may vary:
Manipulation and Deception: Narcissists are known for their manipulative behavior. They might claim to have changed as a way to regain control or to keep their target hooked in the relationship. They may use this declaration to elicit sympathy, trust, or admiration from their partner, hoping that they will be more willing to stay or give them another chance.
Idealization Phase: In the cycle of abuse or in the context of love bombing, narcissists often go through a phase where they idealize their target and put on a charming, caring, and seemingly changed demeanor. This is part of their tactic to hook the other person emotionally.
Temporary Change: It's possible that some narcissists genuinely recognize their problematic behavior and attempt to change—at least temporarily. They might experience guilt or shame over their actions and make an effort to improve their behavior for a short period. However, true and lasting change is rare for individuals with narcissistic personality traits.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Some narcissists may lack genuine self-awareness. They might truly believe they have changed because they are not consciously aware of the negative impact of their behavior on others. This lack of self-awareness can make it difficult for them to recognize their underlying issues and make long-term changes.
Need for Validation: Narcissists crave validation and admiration. By claiming they are a changed person, they may be seeking validation from others, trying to be seen as "better" or more evolved than they actually are.
Regardless of the reason behind the statement, it's crucial to approach such declarations with caution. Narcissists have a pattern of manipulative and emotionally abusive behavior, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being and safety when dealing with someone with narcissistic traits.
If you are in a relationship with a person who claims to have changed, it's important to consider their actions over an extended period, not just their words. Sustainable change requires consistent effort, self-reflection, and personal growth, which can be challenging for someone with narcissistic tendencies. If you have concerns about the relationship, seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the situation and make decisions that prioritize your mental and emotional health.