It's essential to understand that narcissists view and treat people primarily as instruments to fulfill their own needs for admiration, validation, and control. While they may have preferences, these preferences are likely based on how much a particular individual boosts their ego or serves their purposes rather than genuine feelings of love or affection.
Here are some points to consider when it comes to how narcissists approach relationships:
Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists tend to idealize their partners during the initial stages of a relationship when they are getting the validation and attention they crave. They may appear infatuated and seemingly have a "favorite" lover at this stage.
Objectification: Narcissists objectify people, including their romantic partners. They may see their partners as extensions of themselves rather than separate individuals with their own feelings and needs.
Emotional Unavailability: Narcissists often struggle with genuine emotional intimacy and empathy. Their focus is primarily on their own needs and desires, not on building a deep emotional connection with a partner.
Constant Need for Validation: Narcissists constantly seek validation from multiple sources. They may keep multiple partners or engage in infidelity as a way to maintain a constant supply of attention and admiration.
Shifting Interests: As the novelty or excitement of a relationship wears off, a narcissist's interest in a particular partner may decline. They may lose interest once they feel they have "conquered" the person and no longer receive the same level of validation.
Lack of Genuine Love: Narcissists often struggle to experience authentic love and may not truly understand what it means to love someone unconditionally. Their love is conditional, based on what the other person can provide for them.
It's important to note that not everyone who displays self-centered or narcissistic behaviors is a full-blown narcissist. Human behavior exists on a spectrum, and some individuals may exhibit narcissistic traits without meeting the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
In any case, being in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and damaging. It's essential to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from friends, family, or mental health professionals if you find yourself involved with someone who displays manipulative and emotionally abusive behaviors.